I have the fortune of working with some of the most powerful, heart-centered, strong women, femmes, and people I can imagine. These particular people have been praised for their strength, and they value it in themselves, as they well should. These are the kinds of people that are containing our individual and collective fields by transmuting the reverberations of the fracturing and collapse of our society. They are mothers, caretakers, partners, friends, teachers, healers, artists, and more. They feel it all, and they consciously practice letting their feelings move through their bodies to be alchemized. It is an honor to witness and hold space for them in my work.
These holders support others in containing and riding the waves of their overwhelm. This builds resilience in the nervous system, so over time those that have been held by the holders may be able to offer that holding to others.
What’s also true is that the holders need to be held.
The intensity of this time on earth places a demand on these people that requires they increase their access to, and practice of, being held themselves in reciprocity. Nestle your body at the foot of a tree, the roots at the base wrapping around your back and sides just so. If you work with the divine, angels, spirit guides, or your ancestors, ask them to give you the feeling of being held. Ask your lover or most cuddly friend if they can spare a few minutes to hold you tight. Lie on the floor or in the grass, and let your heart rest back toward the earth. Let the rhythm of your favorite music hold you, or wrap yourself in your favorite blanket. Let the sun envelop you in its warming rays, or immerse yourself in the soothing waters of a bath or nearby lake.
To you holders, this requires you to practice allowing yourself to be held. So often the skillset these people possess comes about from being unmet in their deeply feeling nature and tenderness by their families and cultures of origin. They learned how to care for others out of survival in response to the support and witnessing they did not receive. There may be a hyper independence, and a belief that they have to brace and constrict to hold it all together. As the patterns of bracing undo, they often touch into very young aspects of themselves that feel deeply helpless. The underlying need may be to be scooped up, cradled and rocked, all that they may not have received from misattuned caregivers. Acknowledging and feeling into these young needs also means learning how to allow the grief that comes with recognizing these needs went unmet for so long. The more the holders touch into the origin of their gifts, the wound becomes the medicine, and their power to hold others becomes more sustainable.
Holders, you must be given space to let down, fall apart a little bit, be messy, be utterly helpless, feel all the feelings. Your strength and tenderness is a gift to us all, and our world needs you to nurture these gifts.
How are you letting yourself be held today?