Human beings have been talkin’ about dissatisfaction for a long time. The grass is always greener on the other side. And we find ourselves thinking if we can just get to the next level where we make more money, have a bigger house, snag the perfect partner, THEN we’ll be happy and satisfied.
From the somatic viewpoint of the Alexander Technique, this wanting to be in another place and time, or wanting things to be different than how they are, has strong physical correlates. When I'm in the Zone of Dissatisfaction, my chest gets tight, and though it’s still a great song by Duncan Sheik, I’m Barely Breathing . I lose any sense of my contact with the ground or my chair, and I often stare at one point in the distance with a furrowed brow. I feel anxious, and my attention span shortens as I flit from one busy activity to the next.
When I catch myself in these moments, what offers me the greatest relief is when I can accept myself, and my circumstances just as they are in this very moment without having to change or do anything more. Byron Katie talks of Loving What Is. It may sound trite, but stay with me here.
I am enough just as I am, and everything is just as it needs to be. Repeat that as many times as you need to in order to allow it soak in to your whole self. Notice how this affects your body.
As a teacher of mind-body efficiency, it’s way more efficient to accept and learn to love what is, because you are not fighting against the present moment. In the Alexander Technique we learn to unwind our muscles that are constantly amped up, ready to go make the next thing happen that we think will finally bring us relief and satisfaction. We open ourselves to receive the support from the ground underneath us. We stop reaching toward the next level. We allow ourselves to breathe. We decompress to find internal spaciousness and freedom through our joints. And we open up our peripheral vision. This is us catching the wave of the present moment, which breeds relief as we realize it already contains everything we need.
And from there we move. From there we act.
One of my most favorite quotes ever is:
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others. ”
The Alexander Technique helps us unblock and redirect our unique vital energy so that we can better put it into action the way we want. Movement and Change are necessary. Wanting improvement, having desires and goals, and working towards them are all valid pursuits. But what I wonder now is instead of exhausting ourselves as we move forward from a place of eternal dissatisfaction, which implies a lack, what happens if we move from a place of eternal curiosity, and wanting to share our spacious, supported, connected, fullness and wholeness more generously with the world?
Try this and do share your observations in the comment section below. I really do love hearing from you.
What happens in your body when you are in the Zone of Dissatisfaction? And what happens in your body when you disrupt that Zone by letting it soak in that you are enough just as you are, and everything is just as it needs to be?